The phrase “ripen into your authentic self” was part of my horoscope from Rob Brezsny this morning and it was one of those aha things that I just love.
I’ve been having a little bit of trouble with a family situation lately. We haven’t heard from our oldest son in over a year and it is bothersome. Luckily with the internet I can keep faint tabs on him, but still. This is the kind of situation that most parents dread and are confounded by. I am no different.
Fortunately, I found a recent blog post he wrote–the sign of life I’ve been wanting. The subject matter is one I am quite uncomfortable with personally. However, it is not a surprising subject. It is consistent with the kind of person he has always been. Which makes his absence from our lives quite understandable. He is being considerate of our feelings as well as being true to himself.
I was pleased to see that he is a fantastic writer. And a person with integrity. His interests are not interests I can share, but I can respect them.
I feel very proud of him. But it is still strange and uncomfortable for me that I cannot just call him and say, awesome blog, tell me more. I have to give him the kind of space that most parents would be uncomfortable with. And I miss him.
It’s hard to know what to do with a relationship of this nature.
But the thing we have in common, and that all people have in common, is the desire and need to be our authentic selves. And for many of us that takes a great deal of time. Some people never accomplish authenticity.
I had to learn to get out of my own way to even begin ripening into my true and authentic self. I think my son had to learn the same thing and over a year ago he made his move.
So here is to all of us finding our true, authentic selves and the peace that it can bring.
Filed under blogging, boundaries, emotional health, family, getting along, growth, healing, honesty, human nature, love, self-care, self-respect, Uncategorized, wellness
My journaling and blogging are both pretty sporadic even though writing helps my depression a great deal. I guess I just don’t like to be in a routine for too long and need to change things up regularly.
During my down times, though, I do go back and re-read what I’ve written. It gives me a new perspective on things which is also helpful. I consider the re-reading to be an important part of my journal and blog writing.
Last night I re-read most of this blog and was pleased that some of the entries actually seemed to be well-written. I still think someday I might write a book, but it would have to be a well-written book or it wouldn’t be worth it to me. So, that dream still lives on for now.
I was also happy to come across an idea I had forgotten about over the past few months from this blog post:
In that blog I wrote about asking myself the question, “If I were happy, what would I do right now?” which I then acted on and ended up feeling so much better for some reason. After finding the idea again, I decided to bring it back as a strategy because I have entered into a slump and was out of ideas for how to turn the corner and begin making progress again.
Sometimes we know ourselves better than we realize when we are in the trenches. You just need some time and distance to be able to see it. Re-reading my own work is a way to achieve that for myself especially since I don’t have a therapist and rarely confide in other people.
Maybe everybody re-reads their own writing and this is not a new idea for others. But it helps me a lot and I haven’t seen it addressed in other blogs yet so I figured I’d put it out there just in case.