Princess Stella

Many moons ago I wrote about the cat my sister was giving me, even though I didn’t really want it, but I didn’t really tell her that, so… it was pretty much my own fault I would be taking in a cat I didn’t want.

The cat’s name was Stella and she was a princess.  She came into my house in September and immediately took over.  Other than those first moments out of the cat carrier, her paws never touched the floors.  Instead, she leaped through the air and flew from table top to counter top to buffet top to… you get the idea.

Although I am aware that MY cats occasionally sneak onto these forbidden surfaces, they wouldn’t dare do it in front of me because it is against the rules at my house.

And so my cats were stunned and hurt to see Princess Stella getting away with these shocking maneuvers.  She basically took over the house, all their special spots and hiding places, and she took over me, their human mother.  And she lorded it over them.

Hour by hour, day by day, they became more hurt and dejected.  They started staying outside as much as possible to avoid the princess.  And I felt guiltier and angrier about it by the minute.

I began to see that a pattern from childhood had repeated itself in the present day and I needed to break that pattern.

This cat, that I never wanted in the first place, was clearly not working out.  I had to tell my sister “no” for the first time in my life.  I had to do it fast and I had to mean it.  In spite of the possibly good intentions she had, in spite of the trouble and expense she had gone to, in spite of my almost-out-of-control panic that had been triggered by this situation, I had to say that the princess was just not fitting in and would have to go.

Ah, sweet emotional illness…. I was a wreck.

But I did it!!!  I gave that damn cat back!  It’s kind of funny now, but at the time it was completely stressful and traumatic.

Even now, seven months later, I consider the whole episode to be a significant turning point in my development as a human being with a sense of agency.  It gives me something to build on as I move forward in life.  And it gives me a way to know better what I want for myself and to believe that I deserve to have what I want.

In a strange way, I owe this turning point to a little black and white cat.  Thank you Princess Stella!

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8 Comments

Filed under anxiety, boundaries, bullies, decision making, dysfunction, family, getting along, growth, honesty, journey, motivation, peer pressure, progress, self-care, self-respect, stress, Uncategorized

8 responses to “Princess Stella

  1. A great example of knowing what works for you, and taking that step of saying No.

    Often others don’t realise what it takes to bring balance into your life, Princess Stella has shown that you don’t have to be “put upon” saying No is liberating, good for you.

    Take care x

    Liked by 1 person

    • It ended up being very liberating!! I suspect that most people don’t understand what brings balance to my life because I have always been too considerate at my own expense. It’s true that you teach people how to treat you and I am having to do a lot of re-teaching.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. And did your sister accept your decision without wrecking your relationship? I hope so. It is often the case that the person we try so hard to avoid hurting/upsetting doesn’t actually take things as strongly as we do.

    Liked by 1 person

    • She did and I was actually surprised. It has always been one of those eggshell relationships and that was the source of my stress about making the right decision for myself–I worried over repercussions. It went much better than I expected. Old habits from childhood.

      Liked by 4 people

  3. she sounds like a nightmare kitty! lol. Glad you stood your ground and hope your own cats have recovered by now. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • She was a thoroughly spoiled rotten cat!! Beautiful to look at but she immediately took over the whole household–it was very disruptive. I thought if I didn’t give her back I might even end up divorced–it was that bad. Yep, my cats were happy again within a couple of days!

      Like

  4. JC

    This was a good story and with a moral to. It’s no wonder that cats are like mystics, they always have a lesson to teach… jc

    Liked by 1 person

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