Looking out the window to my left, I see that the-neighbors-I-don’t-hate have unfurled a brand-new American flag for their front yard. Sometimes I think we should unfurl our American flag because we live in such strange times now and it might be better to be seen as more patriotic than not. But our flag is one that has flown over the capital because that is the kind of flag you receive when you re-enlist in the Navy. I would just hate to see it get all faded and worn out. So inside it stays.
I was feeling a little stressed this morning. Several weeks ago I had responded in the affirmative to a Facebook invite to a Redneck Wine Tasting today that a friend’s daughter was organizing to benefit our local hospice house. Back then I thought, oh that sounds like fun and it’s a good cause and I will probably want to go.
This morning I weighed my options to see if I could just not show up and not seem like a jerk.
Nearly four years since the big nervous breakdown and I am still not my old self.
I did go, though.
It was harder than it needed to be because I had to go by myself which I hadn’t expected at the time I accepted the invitation. And there were other concerns that had me second-guessing myself.
My friend is a very conservative, very religious, very enthusiastic, very loyal person. We were friends from a long time ago when I was a different, more hopeful person and she was maybe not so religious and conservative.
Sometimes I worry that this is a friendship which perhaps should not have made it into this part of my life.
But she keeps reaching out to me and I think maybe I shouldn’t just blow that off.
The wine tasting was held in what I would call a dive bar. I’ve never actually been inside before, though I drive by quite often. Back in the day, when the police came to raid it, prostitutes and customers alike could climb out a window and swim away in the nearby creek. Creeks can be very handy things!
Nowadays, if there is a raid, there probably wouldn’t be any prostitutes.
It was very crowded when I got there half an hour into the thing and they were already running out of raffle tickets and some of the foods. My friend was all dressed up as a redneck. She had put her hair in braids and wore some hideous fake teeth and a plaid flannel shirt and gave me a big hug when she saw me. She was in her element.
I stayed long enough to choose my raffles and then headed for home. Maybe for the next one, I’ll plan better and bring someone and actually relax a bit and imbibe.
Maybe the next one will find a healthier me and all around better times.