Disappointed Not Entirely Surprised

So the United States of America has just elected the bull in the china shop to be the next president.

I happen to know or be related to a lot of his supporters and some of them are giddy with happiness.  Some of them I know to be miserable, narrow-minded people in need of much healing.  Some of them took their misery out on me during my formative years or even in recent times.  So this election result feels to me like the bullies won as they always do.

There was a huge amount of name-calling during the election campaigns.  As someone who endured a huge-amount of name-calling during my formative years, the name-calling triggered me on a daily basis.  My skin is still not thick enough.  I will never think name-calling is a good idea.  It is very disrespectful in a very basic way.

There was a crazy amount of disinformation–or gas-lighting if you really think about it.  Several weeks ago I spent hours on line trying to debunk a meme about “if Mexico can build a wall on their southern border, why can’t we build one on our southern border with them” blah, blah, blah.

I was able to find the person who created the meme and had posted it to a meme website.  I found several articles explaining that such a wall doesn’t exist because of lack of interest, money and the challenging geography in that part of the world.  And finally I found the source for the photo they had attached to the meme.  They copied it from a website for a company in Kansas City, Missouri that builds fences in the U.S.

After hours of work to find the truth, I realized that if I posted my findings, no one would accept it, believe it, or care.  I would just get jumped on as has happened before in my life.  Sometimes it seems like saying something only makes things worse.

I do recognize the problems with our politics as usual and I also want things to change for the better.  It just seems like we, or they, have gone about it in a very tragic way.

A couple weeks ago I told my husband that if we end up with a president Trump, then I would have to keep a very low-profile, especially online.  A lifetime as a target has finally taught me that much at least.  My twelve years at the Terrible Job has also taught me about the wisdom of staying under the radar.

Before we knew the outcome of the election, I felt positive and strong enough to handle any result (never really believing that internet memes could take the day).  Now that we have fallen down into the rabbit’s hole, I’m feeling a little bit ill.  From the healing work I have already done, I know it will take time to let those feelings run their course until they subside and something else can rise up.

Okay, so there is still a day ahead and a life to live regardless of the state of the world.  Time for me to trip the light fantastic.

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4 Comments

Filed under bullies, getting along, honesty, human nature, PTSD, self-care, social phobia, Uncategorized

4 responses to “Disappointed Not Entirely Surprised

  1. Know that you are not alone. Many of us feel physically sick with upset today. Self-care is of high importance, if we are to handle whatever changes get thrown at us now. For me, today, that included backing out of a usual Wednesday commitment so that I could give myself a chance to breathe and recover from the shock (I know, I shouldn’t be shocked) without having to respond to anybody’s well-meaning comments–it’s just too soon. Fresh air, quiet, rest. Breathe.
    And tomorrow is another day.

    Liked by 2 people

    • This turn of events has been like a physical beating. A friend of mine had to take a Xanax yesterday to be able to sleep. I was at Alex’s today and they are as disappointed and anxious as I am. It feels like a different world today. It is dividing families and friends. Yes, we need to nurse ourselves back to something resembling normalcy.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. JC

    There are a lot of people who are totally sick today because of what happened last night. It will take time for many to feel they have a country again. Heaven help us!

    Liked by 2 people

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