Last night my belly dance troupe held its annual Christmas Hafla (belly dance gathering). We’ve had about five of them. This year was our third one held a local bar that one of our dancers works at.
I was so keyed-up beforehand that I felt nauseous. As many times as I have performed in public, that sickish feeling seems to be necessary on some level. Maybe it is a gathering of all my energies. It passes once the food is set up and the pool table moved out of the way and the music starts and we are dancing.
There was something different about how I felt, though, compared to previous years. I felt more centered in my body. There was less of a “people pleasing” element to me just being there. More of a detachment.
I think it was a healthy detachment. More of a “this is where I leave off and that is where you begin” kind of detachment.
Usually I do a lot of nervous laughing in between songs and sometimes even during a dance. That didn’t happen last night. Yet, I can say I did have fun. Less laughing and more being actually present in the moment.
My choreography partner and I performed the dance we choreographed ourselves this year and we received a lot of positive feedback. I felt really strong while dancing it.
We finished our second choreography this week. It goes with a Christmas song and we had hoped to have it ready for the Hafla. But there just wasn’t enough time. We will polish it to perfection and unveil it next Christmas. No pressure!!!
So anyway, this is one more example of the kind of progress I have made this year in comparison to where I was last Christmas season. It is reassuring to have something to measure in a journey that is all about going with the flow. These things take a lot of time and I am fortunate to be able to spend my time in this way.