Resigned

I just wrote the most awesome letter of resignation ever!  It was both light-hearted and sarcastic, a winning combination for sure.

I am aware that I may never have a “good” job again.  We may always be poor because of this.  It’s not like I have connections or a winning kind of personality that will get me through a new door of opportunity.

I got this job based on a test.  Same way I got the job before that which only lasted five years before I’d had enough of my narcissistic boss.  This one lasted nearly twelve years!  Pretty amazing for me.

I am a hard worker.  I try to always give my best effort.  I keep busy and have high standards.  I try to improve my work habits and my workplace.  Perhaps it is time to accept the fact that none of that actually matters when it comes to getting a job and keeping it long term.

I always get burned out.  I always get taken advantage of.  I always get abused.

I’m still not sure what it is I could do differently so that those things stop happening.  I mean, clearly, the fault lies with me.  Everybody tells me so.

Maybe I have too much pride.  Maybe I’m just too OCDish.  I’m definitely too much of a lot of things that have caused me to fail in the workplace once again.

Even my so-called friends have zero sympathy for my situation.  They dismiss my concerns and take advantage of my willingness to be helpful.  Today I told one of the them I would be quitting as of May 18th and she said, “Why the 18th?”  Oh, I don’t know, it’s my lucky number I guess.  Not a word of encouragement or any sympathy or a shoulder.  Just that stupid question.

These are not friends if they can’t for one moment imagine what this is doing to me.  Instead, they expect me to be there for them.  That familiar one-way street that is the story of my life.

I think I rely too much on  the approval of others.  They never do approve.  So, I guess I have wasted my life pursuing that goal.

Man, why is this happening again?  I’m too old for this shit.

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4 responses to “Resigned

  1. Gloria

    I read your “Fast Forward 13 Months” story first. When I read this one, I thought I had written it! The same things that have happened to you on jobs have also happened to me. I want to go in and do a good job, do the job I am getting paid to do, and it’s so hard to work with people who just physically show up and don’t really give a damn about anything other than their paycheck, bigger title, larger salary, more authority without any responsibility. Thank you again. I am not alone.

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    • Nope, not alone! Maybe out-numbered, though. So frustrating, I know. It seems to me that the workplace has become a paradise for narcissists. I have done tons of reading on that subject and it comes down to having to almost re-raise myself so that I am no longer the kind of person they feed off of. Which is why I still haven’t applied for any jobs. Not done re-raising myself yet….

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      • Gloria

        I cannot believe how much you sound just like me and my thoughts. I have also done a lot of researching narcissists and sociopaths, and am also figuring out my part in allowing them to change how I felt about myself. I tried to send this to you in an email, but it didn’t go thru, instead of posting publicly, but you sound like a Highly Sensitive Person. Are you familiar with Elaine Aron’s book on the subject? There’s a self test on hsperson.com. I belong to some groups on facebook and have gotten support with acknowledging this trait, its blessings, its curses, and how to navigate the world and people. One person posted the other day that she likes helping people, but then instead of appreciating her help, then think they are entitled to it. That’s what happened to me. If you’re on facebook and want to check them out, I belong to Highly Sensitive Souls, HSPs-the next fifty years (if you’re 45+). Search on highly sensitive or hsp if you want to see more. A part of me has been thinking I exaggerated everything that happened, but your words have made me realize it was indeed real, and I was right to get out of there. I wish I had had the strength to get another job before I quit, but I was so beat down, I needed a break to heal and recharge. Namaste. Peace. Abundance. Gloria

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  2. I have not heard of this book but I will check out the Facebook group as it seems like something that would help. Yes, one of my biggest issues at work was the “helping” situation. And I have been beating myself up about not having lined up a job to go to first. One friend of mine actually was able to accomplish that and I wonder how she did it and I was not able to. I was exhausted both mentally and physically. Now I am glad I did not go directly to a new job because I am certain the same dynamic would have occurred at the next place. But the financial repercussions have been pretty bad….. and I resent that about the people I used to work with. It’s so unfair.

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